Sunday, March 27, 2011

How are your relationships?

So, church service this morning was amazing as usual.  It was all about relationships. 

Since the very first day I started attending church, every service I've been to has related to something going on in my life.  I supposed that would be god answering my prayers?  Whether it's been about cancer the weekend after my husbands Grandmother passed away from cancer.  Or about education as I was struggling with issues for my kids education as well as what I was going to do with my life and education. 

So, all week something has been bothering me.  I had a little fight (on facebook, ugh) with a friend of ours.  Well, she was really the girlfriend (at the time, but now fiance) of one of my husbands close friends (a groomsmen in our wedding).  My husband went to school with her but they weren't really close friends.  So, she had send me a long facebook message that really upset me just days before our wedding.  About how figuring out where my guests were staying and how they were getting home from our wedding was MY problem.  Which yes, for out of state guests it was.  But they lived like 30 minutes away from our wedding venue, so in my opinion they could get a hotel room, take a taxi, or one of them could stay sober enough to drive home (crazy idea, I know!).  Anyway, I sent my husband the message and he promptly handled the problem.

So, after the wedding was over she made a comment about thursday dinner night which is a night we get together with another couple for dinner at our house or the other couples house...  long story short it turned into a blow out.  A blow out where I said many many many hurtful things to her.  Things that I really hadn't seen first hand, I had heard through other people mainly.  I called her a bad mom, I told her to spend more time with her kid instead of causing drama on facebook.  She has custody of her child every other week.  To me, that's crazy.  I could NEVER be without my kids every other week.  And from what I'd heard from their previous roommates, they would stay in their room all day, having sex and whatever else they do in there and leave their at the time kindergartener to fend for herself.  Not even coming out to feed her.  Now, I did notice small things like other people feeding her child at a party why she was busy with her boyfriend... but, I do understand new love and... well, I honestly shouldn't have worried about it.  Her daughter is in good health, she's not physically abused, and besides them not making her a plate at a party, I've seen NOTHING with my own eyes that was abuse. 

Basically, what I'm getting at is no matter what she did or said, I should have never said the things that I said.  I should have just ignored it.  The Pastor brought up a good point.  It's not just about what you GET from the relationship, but what you GIVE TO the relationship.  So, this brings me to my though... maybe God had brought us together for what I could give and not so much what I could get.  At the time these issues happened I was very focused on myself.  Our issues happened to take place around one of the biggest days of MY life, MY wedding.  I was completely focused on my life and not others.  Is this why I wasn't as accepting of her. 

So, all week I had been thinking I should contact her, I should apologize.  I was very upset at the way I handled the whole situation and the fact that this couple was now having ill feelings towards me because of this fight was just starting to really get to me. 

I'm typically a very funny person.  I get along with most people, it's actually RARE that I don't get along with someone.  Even if they have some traits that bother me, we still don't have problems.  Sure I might get annoyed by something they say or do, but not to the point that it's an issue.

So after thinking about this issue all week, I show up to church today and the service is about none other than relationships.

Answer to my prayers?  Yes.  It confirmed that my thoughts are correct and I should make some effort and apologize.  Even if nothing comes out of it, it will set better in my head, and my heart. 

This couple happened to have quite a few life changing events since this blow out occurred which i believe was in September 2010.  They became engaged, they got pregnant, they found out the baby is a boy, they moved.  quite a bit in such a short time.  I know about all this stuff of course because we still have a TON of mutual friends.  I think this is another reason why this whole issue has just bothered me.

So, just another reason why I know that God is showing me I'm doing the right thing, that going to church is the answer for me and my family....  God is good :D

Now if only I could get my diet back on track tomorrow.  We'll see.  Maybe I should pray about THAT! ;) 

I did get the ceilings textured this weekend by the way, and mostly painted.  Finished off 5 gallons of primer and STILL need more.  That just confirms our living room is too big for sure.

1 comment:

  1. That's tough! Praying for God's guiding hand as you pursue healing.

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